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When I mix my drinks I go on self-destruct mode. Is it normal to feel so destructive through alcohol

When I mix my drinks I go on self-destruct mode. I haven’t hurt myself yet but I worry one day I will so I’m rethinking my drinking habits but is it normal to feel so destructive through just alcohol?

Alcohol affects people in different ways. You might know people who become quite emotional when drunk, or others who just want to fall asleep. It sounds like when you drink too much then alcohol makes you more self-destructive. 

It’s not necessarily about mixing alcoholic drinks, it’s more to do with the amount that you’ve drank. For example, three pints of ordinary lager has the same amount of alcohol as three double measures of spirits, but it is much easier to knock back three doubles than three pints. And, if you’re pouring your own spirits you’re not likely to be sticking to pub measures. This means getting drunk can happen quite quickly leading to the self-destructive behaviour you worry about.

Alcohol is known as a disinhibitor which means you will maybe do things or say things that you wouldn’t normally do due to the fact that it effects your judgement and your ability to decide between right wrong. Longer term heavy drinking can cause changes in mood and brain function also.

For some people, self destructive behaviour leads to the involvement of the police, for others it can be deliberate self-harm. So it sounds like for you it is ‘normal’ to feel self destructive with alcohol, which is why it sounds like a really good idea to try to rethink your drinking habits.

If you would like any help to change your drinking or you are worried about your emotional well-being as you mentioned self-destructing, Motiv8 has free and confidential counsellors that you can talk to. You can email them direct at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or call 627656. There is also more information on Alcohol on

Recognising that there is a link between alcohol and self-destructive behaviour is a great first step and rethinking your drinking habits is a positive move. Sticking to the unit system is a good way of helping yourself to reduce your drinking and stick to safe measures. 

The safe limits that are suggested is 21 units per week for a male over the age of 18, but no more than 3-4 units daily and 14 units a week for a female over 18 but no more than 2-3 units daily. For under 18’s there is no safe recommended amount.

I had the implant 11 months ago, I still get extremely irregular periods, is this normal?

I had the implant 11 months ago. I was told my period may become irregular for the first 3 months of having it. However I still get extremely irregular periods and i’m often on 3 weeks at a time. Is this normal and is there anything I can do?

You’re quite right, usually the implant will settle down within 3-6 months, some girls then have much lighter bleeding which can be a bit unpredictable and even last longer than usual and some girls have no bleeding at all – which can be great but also can take a bit of getting your head around! The implant will always change a girls bleeding pattern in some way.

I would say that you should go back to the clinic/Dr/nurse who fitted the implant for you to discuss your troublesome symptoms and for assessment of what can be done. For instance, maybe the level of bleeding, though troublesome and not your usual bleeding pattern, is not abnormal for the method you have chosen, or maybe the addition of a pill for a short time will improve things, or maybe there is a need to exclude an infection.

You definitely would be best to talk it through with someone. If you can’t go back to the person who fitted it for you, you can always talk with your GP practice (practice nurse or Dr who specialise in contraception) or the Family Planning Clinic.

Here is a link to the FPA implant page for more information if that helps too:


Is there any way for me to get it checked so that I can find out if my hymen is still intact?

I heard that a women’s hymen can tear without sex (by using tampons). Is there any way for me to get it checked so that I can find out if my hymen is still intact/I’m still a virgin?

It is known that tampons, physical activity and masturbation can break the hymen. But, just because the hymen is broken does not mean that you are not a virgin.

Most hymens have disappeared by the time girls reach puberty even if they have not engaged in the act of full penetrative sex. The hymen can sometimes be detected by examination if there is any of it left.

However, you are obviously worried about something. You can discuss any worries you may have with GUM clinic, your GP or your Practice Nurse. Health professionals are experienced, offer a confidential service and would address any of your specific concerns.

How long does it take to get HIV test results? Was only 20 minutes on Emmerdale…

The result of a ‘routine’ HIV test carried out in the GUM Clinic will usually be available the next day. In special circumstances e.g. the person has been in contact with someone who has been confirmed as HIV positive because the person would be extremely anxious, the staff in GUM can contact the laboratory to request a rapid result. This result is usually available in one hour.  If a HIV test result is initially positive, this needs to be confirmed with another sample. One of the samples is then sent to the UK for absolute confirmation. Only when this test result is available from the UK would anyone in the IOM be confirmed as being HIV positive.

If you are concerned that you may have put yourself at risk, it is always wise to get tested. The benefits of knowing your HIV status far outweigh the risks. If an early diagnosis is made, then successful HIV treatment means you can expect to live as long as anyone else.

You can talk to the staff in GUM about getting an HIV test, they would be the best people to give the advice and support you may need to make this decision.

Would the legal high ching show up on a hair strand test?

Drug tests are set up to test for known drugs. If the test has been configured to test for Ching, it will certainly show up. There could be some confusion here too as Ching is also a slang name for cocaine. There is a legal high being sold which is called Ching which chemically is very like cocaine and gives similar affects (particularly when it is taken with alcohol)  a mix of cocaine and alcohol creates a third substance called cocaethylene which is potentially much more dangerous than either of the others separately. I am pretty sure that Ching would show up in hair strands.

I have sexual fantasies about my mum. How do I resist these uncontrollable and unnatural urges?

Sounds like this could be quite confusing and awkward for you. I would really advise speaking confidentially to your GP – they will be able to refer you for any help you need and be able to discuss your concerns in a safe environment.

What’s the best way to cure a hangover?

It’s never a nice experience and sometimes you just need to ride it out! I would say eat something simple so as not to cause more stomach upset and nausea. If it’s the dreaded morning after headaches you’re suffering from as well then paracetamol might ease your suffering a little. Avoid aspirin because it may irritate the stomach.

Exercise is recommended by some people (sweating it out of your system) but obviously isn’t for everyone, others swear that a teaspoonful of bicarbonate of soda in a glass of water helps with nausea (which is probably the basis for alka seltzer). Maybe take some re-hydration solution that contain minerals and salts lost through dehydration.

Easiest way to stop hangovers is plan your night out and make sure you break up your drinking with water. Certainly when you get home you should drink some water to stop you body dehydrating.

Depending on how bad your hangover, you really should prepare for the longest day of your life grin And don’t be tempted to take the hair of the dog that bit you!

I’m so embarrassed! I had a period on my best friends sofa and stained it

I’m so embarrassed! I had a period on my best friends sofa and stained it :/ Can you recommend any good stain removers or give me money for a new sofa?

Can’t help you with money for a new sofa I’m afraid but some elbow grease and fabric cleaner should do the trick. Also, periods are 100% normal and maybe you can just talk to your friend and they will understand!

I’m deeply worried about my 16 year old friend…

I’m deeply worried about my 16 year old friend, every weekend she goes out partying with people much older than her and she doesn’t know what she is taking, last week she spent £100 on washing up powder! I’d really appreciate some advice on how to convince her to study more at school, please respond a.s.a.p before its too late

Your friend is lucky to have you look out for her.  It is risky for 16 year old young women to be hanging around with much older people, especially when there is drug use going on.  There have been many cases reported where young women have been sexually assaulted when under the influence of substances.  You are also right to be concerned about the impact drug use is likely to have on academic achievement.  All you can do is be supportive of her at this time and express your concerns to her.  Maybe there is something else going on that means she feels the need to hang out with older people, apart from the fact that they can get drugs.  It is of course worrying that she is being exploited for her money; if she is so naïve that she spends £100 on washing powder thinking it to be drugs then she definitely needs to be looked after.  Tell her parents/guardians.  Advise her never to take substances that she knows nothing about.

Is it safe to pop my genital warts? Will blokes dig my scars?

Don’t pop your warts, go to a doctor.  And any bloke that digs scars from genital warts should be avoided!

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