I really just want to end my life right now, my life just keeps getting worse and worse, most of the people I held the closest to me have abandoned me and I think I have depression. My life will never get better and I want to end it all right now if it weren’t for one of the only friends I trust who would be lost without me and probably end her life too, I don’t want that for her. What can I do to make the pain stop :/
Thank you for writing to me. I know that you may be feeling helpless and that things will not get better but I am glad that you have been able to tell me how you feel. Having thoughts about wanting to end your life can be extremely frightening and difficult to talk about. If you feel suicidal you may not necessarily want to die: you may just be unable to see any other way of coping with life and want time-out from it. Please try to ask someone for help. At the moment you seem to feel abandoned, alone and you say that you think you are depressed. Talking to someone can help you get the support you need. Whilst you may feel that that you have no control over your life, it’s important to know you are not beyond help, that you are not alone and that there may be some things that you – and other people - can do to make it better. There are people who really do want to help you: you may know them already, like your friends or family, or they may be professionals who you have not met yet.
I know you have this friend who you trust: have you told her how you feel? If you don’t feel able to talk to her there are other people you can talk to who will listen and support you with getting help. You could talk to a member of your family or someone else you trust such as a teacher, college welfare officer, the family of a close friend, a minister, priest or other type of religious leader. I would recommend that you see your GP. They can advise you about appropriate treatment if they think you have a mental health condition such as depression or anxiety. They can also help you to get additional support, perhaps from a local mental health team.
On the Isle of Man, we have a Crisis Response and Home Treatment Team. They assess and support people who are experiencing significant deterioration in their mental health and/or are experiencing crisis in how they feel and feel that an urgent response it needed. Their telephone number is 642860.
Helplines and support groups
- Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number will not show up on your phone bill.
- PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation that supports teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
- Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It does not have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information.
- Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
- You may also find this page on feeling overwhelmed useful.
I hope that this information is useful. The important thing to remember is that there is support available which has already helped a lot of people who have experienced suicidal thoughts – you just need to seek this support that is available to help come through this.