Crashtest.im

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Recent questions

I really just want to end my life right now: my life just keeps getting worse… What can I do?

I really just want to end my life right now, my life just keeps getting worse and worse, most of the people I held the closest to me have abandoned me and I think I have depression. My life will never get better and I want to end it all right now if it weren’t for one of the only friends I trust who would be lost without me and probably end her life too, I don’t want that for her. What can I do to make the pain stop :/

Thank you for writing to me. I know that you may be feeling helpless and that things will not get better but I am glad that you have been able to tell me how you feel. Having thoughts about wanting to end your life can be extremely frightening and difficult to talk about. If you feel suicidal you may not necessarily want to die: you may just be unable to see any other way of coping with life and want time-out from it. Please try to ask someone for help. At the moment you seem to feel abandoned, alone and you say that you think you are depressed. Talking to someone can help you get the support you need. Whilst you may feel that that you have no control over your life, it’s important to know you are not beyond help, that you are not alone and that there may be some things that you – and other people - can do to make it better. There are people who really do want to help you: you may know them already, like your friends or family, or they may be professionals who you have not met yet.

I know you have this friend who you trust: have you told her how you feel? If you don’t feel able to talk to her there are other people you can talk to who will listen and support you with getting help. You could talk to a member of your family or someone else you trust such as a teacher, college welfare officer, the family of a close friend, a minister, priest or other type of religious leader. I would recommend that you see your GP. They can advise you about appropriate treatment if they think you have a mental health condition such as depression or anxiety. They can also help you to get additional support, perhaps from a local mental health team.

There are several telephone helplines you can call at any time of the day or night. You can speak to someone who understands how you are feeling and can help you through the immediate crisis. I really recommend talking to someone face-to-face, but if you feel you can’t speak to someone you know then the Samaritans offer confidential advice and support and can be contacted on 663399 or via email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

On the Isle of Man, we have a Crisis Response and Home Treatment Team. They assess and support people who are experiencing significant deterioration in their mental health and/or are experiencing crisis in how they feel and feel that an urgent response it needed. Their telephone number is 642860.

Helplines and support groups

  • Samaritans (08457 90 90 90) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you are feeling, or if you are worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).
  • Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number will not show up on your phone bill.
  • PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation that supports teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
  • Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It does not have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information.
  • Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
  • You may also find this page on feeling overwhelmed useful.
  • I hope that this information is useful. The important thing to remember is that there is support available which has already helped a lot of people who have experienced suicidal thoughts – you just need to seek this support that is available to help come through this.

     

I am worried that I might have HPV: I’ve had some of the ‘symptoms’ such as a small rash of warts

I am worried that I might have HPV, I’ve had some of the ‘symptoms’ such as a small rash of warts on my right leg and every so often I get spots around my genital area. I am not sure that it is possible as I have never had sex or done anything even remotely sexual, plus I had the vaccine when I was 12. I’m fretting over it frequently and feel very stupid and clueless, so I hope you could please help me out.

Firstly I am so sorry to hear you have been worrying about this problem, but I am so glad you have plucked up courage to ask for help as that is a very positive and brave move.  It sounds unlikely that these spots are genital warts (which are caused by the HPV) but without a trained healthcare professional having a look at them it is difficult to tell you exactly what they are. They sound like they could be a very common skin virus called Molluscum Contagiosum (which sounds very serious but isn’t!). This virus is very common in children and young adults and usually the spots go away on their own.

You could look at patient.co.uk which gives some information and pictures about molluscum, but please remember this is only a guess based on the most common infections in your age group.

Please make an appointment for your own peace of mind and get checked out as there are lots of conditions which can cause skin rashes and you need to find out what is causing your symptoms. You can go to your GP or to the GUM Clinic for this and they will be able to give you a definite diagnosis and hopefully the reassurance and any treatment you may need. It can be scary when you don’t know what is wrong with you and most people would feel ‘clueless’ like you so don’t feel bad, that’s normal!

I hope you get your problem sorted soon to help you stop worrying.

 

I have self-harmed for quite a while now… I feel addicted to it.

I have self-harmed for quite a while now, and I know I should stop. But I can’t, I feel addicted to it. I really want to tell my mum this but I’m afraid that she won’t be happy…

Thank you for e-mailing me. It seems that you’d really like some support, but you’re worried about how to speak to your mum and how to stop self-harming.

Self-harm is used to manage negative feelings and emotions. It’s sometimes someone punishing themselves or trying to regain control when they think they don’t have any.  Because it’s often used as a coping mechanism, self-harm can be viewed as positive by those who do it, at least initially. This can set up a type of repetitive behaviour where the desire to self-harm becomes difficult to control and to stop, and the act of self-harm continues even though there are many good reasons not to do so.

You say that you feel addicted to self-harming. Some people believe you can become physically addicted to self-harm and there is some evidence to show that chemicals, called ‘endogenous opioids’ are released when the body is injured in any way. These opioids can make us less sensitive to pain and can be pleasurable in the short term, however, self-harm is not simply about obtaining physical relief: it has to be understood as what it means to the person who does it. Many people who self-harm don’t find it addictive in a physical sense but may become dependent on it emotionally. People self-harm for all sorts of reasons and each person’s reason will differ. Some people self-harm to manage negative feelings and emotions, using it as a coping strategy to help them manage how they feel. Others may self-harm as a distraction, to stop unwanted feelings. Harming may become a habit and part of a routine to cope with feelings or to reduce the risk of unwanted feelings popping up in the first place.

It then becomes something you rely on and for many people, the thought of giving up self-arming can be frightening as they are worried about how they will cope without it. However, you can learn new more appropriate and less damaging coping strategies. I know it’s difficult to speak about, but it sounds like you need to talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings to explore why you feel this way.  Talking about your self-harming and how you feel can be the first step in you getting support to address the underlying issues that may have caused you to self-harm in the first place. It seems like you’ve reached the point where you want to tell your mum and for things to be different.

I know that the thought of telling your mum may be scary as you are worried about how she will react. She may be shocked, confused, upset or even angry at first, but after the initial shock and upset many parents realise that they need to put their own feelings to one side and concentrate on supporting and helping their child. Remember, it can be a huge relief to finally let someone know and share what you’re going through. If you find it hard to tell your mum face to face, could you write her a letter? Sometimes it is easier to do this. youngminds.org is a site that your mum may find useful, with information about self-harm especially for parents.

If you are really worried about how your mum will react then you could approach your GP to start with, who will listen to you and not judge you. If you get referred on for further treatment you can then talk to a trained professional who will be able to help you talk through thoughts and feelings and suggest ways in which you can manage these in a way that doesn’t hurt or frighten you. If a GP isn’t available and you feel you need help straight away, contact the Samaritans who run a service with confidential non judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair. The phone number for the Isle of Man branch is 663399 and the website is samaritans.org.

There are also specialist websites where you can go to for more information and guidance, offering support and information on alternative coping strategies as well as distraction techniques which you may find work for you. See selfharm.co.uk and thesite.org

Every time I peel back my foreskin there is thick solid white stuff everywhere

Every time I peel back my foreskin there is thick solid white stuff everywhere, my girlfriend wants to have sex and I’m scared she will run away at the sight of my crusty monstrosity

This sounds like smegma, which is a yellowish-white creamy substance. It appears on the head of your penis and under your foreskin. It’s a natural lubricant that keeps your penis moist. smegma can have an unpleasant smell (a bit like cheese). Hygiene and keeping yourself clean is important. Try washing carefully under your foreskin and the yellowish stuff should disappear.

You might like to use a bit of un-perfumed shower gel and rub it with your fingers. Once it goes, make sure you wash under your foreskin every day to avoid smegma building up again. Men with foreskins need to be extra careful about washing smegma away.

If that doesn’t help or you’re worried about an STI you may need to see your GP or the friendly people at the GUM Clinic for a check up.

Once you’ve got it under control and feel better about your appearance, and you and your girlfriend have decided you want to have sex together, I hope you both have a great relationship.

Ps. Have you thought about contraception if you do not plan to start a pregnancy together? You may also be wise to get into the habit of using condoms to prevent any STI’s. in the future. You are welcome to get free condoms from GUM and the Family Planning Clinic

 

My boyfriend came in one of my eyes and it’s been red and itchy for 4 days afterwards.

My boyfriend came in one of my eyes and it’s been red and itchy for 4 days afterwards. I want to go to the doctors but I’m too embarrassed… please Help

Oh yes that sounds sore and itchy as well as potentially embarrassing to talk about and get checked out. But as you are worried about it the best thing is to get it looked at.

I understand that it might be embarrassing but the friendly people at the GUM Clinic have seen problems like that before and will know what to do and won’t make you feel uncomfortable. They’re used to dealing with all sorts of problems. It might be that you can be taught how to clean your eye or maybe you need some antibiotics – go and get it checked, you’ll be glad you did.

 

Can I get tested for STIs and be fully anonymous?

If I go to the ‘GUM Clinic’. Can I get tested for STIs and be fully anonymous? And can I go by myself? I am under 16, so would I need a parent?

The GUM clinic is a confidential service so your visit is between you and the staff there and yes you can get tested for STI’s, if necessary, even if you are under 16. You don’t have to have a parent with you, but if you want one to be there that’s OK too, some people prefer to take an older sister or brother or a friend , some people visit on their own. The only reason that staff might have to share information with others about your visit is if they think that you are in any danger and they would always talk with you about this before doing anything.

For more information on the GUM Clinic we’ve created some useful videos, including one about confidentiality and one specifically for people under 16 go to our GUM Clinic page.

 

I self harm. I’ve tried many alternatives but I keep turning back to it.


I self harm. I’ve tried many alternatives but I keep turning back to it. I also have this habit (I’m not sure if there is a certain name to it) but I pick my skin when I’m nervous? I will itch at it and pick until I’m at the point where it’s stinging and bleeding yet I still do it. I don’t want to tell anybody about these habits but I also want help..?

Thank you for your email and for being able to tell me that you would like help with addressing your self- harm and habits.

Self-harm, which is also known as self-injury, can be many things that people do to themselves in a deliberate and often hidden way such as the picking of your skin you describe. Sometimes people think they are the only ones doing it but research shows that it is very common. In the UK, at least one in every 15 young people has experience of self-injury. That is two young people in every classroom!

People self-injure for all sorts of reasons, but often it is because feelings like anger, sadness and fear have got too painful to deal with. Some people self-harm because of pressure and stress from things like relationships, family problems, school, sexual worries or as a way of dealing with horrible situations like abuse or the death of someone close. Each person’s reason will differ and some reasons can be quite complex.

Self-harm is often used to manage negative feelings and emotions, and is used by some people as a coping strategy to help them manage how they feel. However, there are more appropriate and less damaging coping strategies that you could use. I see that you have tried alternatives but that you return to self -harming which suggests that you may need some additional help with this.

Self -harm can make people feel distressed and alone and can be scary, also for the majority of cases self-harm is a very private act and individuals can go to great lengths to hide sores and bruises. It is not uncommon for self- harm to be followed by feelings of guilt and shame which can often perpetuate a vicious cycle. I see that you don’t want to tell anybody about your habits but at the same time you do want help.You may not know why you self-injure but it seems that you have tried to find alternative ways of dealing with how you are feeling but that you go back to self-harm and picking your skin. I know it’s difficult to speak about, but it sounds like it would benefit you to talk to someone about your thoughts and feelings to explore why you feel this way. Try to speak with someone you trust: sometimes just telling someone about how you are feeling can help. They may also be able to offer suggestions such as alternative coping strategies. Have you a friend, family member, teacher, college lecturer you feel you could talk to?

You could approach your GP to start with, who will listen to you and not judge you and they may help you consider other alternatives as coping strategies. If you get referred on for further treatment you can then talk to a trained professional who will be able to help you talk through thoughts and feelings and suggest ways in which you can manage these in a way that doesn’t hurt or frighten you.

If a GP isn’t available and you feel you need help straight away, contact the Samaritans who run a service with confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair. The phone number for the Isle of Man branch is 663399 and the website is samaritans.org.

There are also specialist website where you can go to for more information and guidance. They also offer support and information on alternative coping strategies as well as distraction techniques which you may find work for you: selfharm.co.uk and thesite.org

I need to know a quick way to come down from methcathinone

Firstly, here’s some technical stuff about the effects of methcathinone (sometimes called ‘cat’ or ‘jeff’)... Like other central nervous system stimulants, it can reduce tiredness and block hunger. And just like other stimulants, the drug can also trigger impulsive, erratic behaviour by increasing the action and supply of two main neurotransmitters, norepinephrine and dopamine. At higher dosages, or with continual use, feelings of heightened confidence and arousal can quickly spin off into paranoia, irritability, and severe depression.

Physical side-effects include loss of appetite, heavy sweating, dehydration, elevated heart rate and body temperature, as well as uncontrollable shaking. Psychological effects include anxiety and irritability. Tolerance often develops rapidly, as does dependence. Early withdrawal symptoms of anxiety and profuse sweating can come before convulsions, hallucinations and severe depression. Where there is extreme discomfort medical attention should be sought.

The ‘comedown’ from methcathinone can leave people with a lack of energy and feeling low in mood.  If there has been heavy use then the user might become quite tired but after sleeping they may feel quite restless and be prone to sleeplessness.

The body takes a number of hours to clear a stimulant drug from the system so unfortunately there is no quick way to come down from it: once a substance has been taken and is in the blood stream you can’t speed the process of it up. It’s not recommended to try to deal with any comedown by using other substances including alcohol. The best thing to do is to prepare yourself and ensure any discomfort is kept to a minimum such as ensuring a quiet environment with reduced stimulation, having access to drink and food, maybe having someone to talk to to minimise distress. Preparation also means understanding that a comedown will happen and so if you feel ropey it’s part of the process not some unexplained phenomena. If you are determined to use it then avoid heavy binges.

What should I do if my friend is taking drugs

This can be a difficult situation for anyone, particularly if you’re concerned for your friend’s safety.

Locally you could speak to Motiv8. They offer a confidential service for anyone affected by their own or other people’s drug use. The counsellors will be able to talk this over with you and help you find a way of dealing with this in a way that works for you.

You can email Motiv8 at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) or ring them on 627656 in normal office hours.

I don’t know if I’m self harming by not eating.

I don’t know if I’m self harming by not eating. For the past week I’ve not really eaten much or when I do I throw/gag it all back up, I am trying to manage my weight but not trying to harm myself. I don’t know what to do.

First thing I would say is everyone is different and it is not necessarily a bad thing to be larger. The important thing is that you eat healthily and exercise.

Getting into the habit of not eating is likely to cause more harm than good, not only emotionally but it will also have a negative impact on your ability to exercise both physically and in terms of concentration.

It can also be counter productive when it comes to weight management. Food avoidance can cause your body’s metabolism to slow down and therefore weight loss can become even harder. We are likely to overeat when we do have an opportunity to eat after avoidance also.

If you are concerned about your weight you might like to discuss this with a dietitian in confidence who will be able to help you plan an appropriate and healthy plan. You can get a referral for a dietitian from your GP.

    The main points to remember are:
  1. Have regular meals?
  2. Don’t avoid any food groups
  3. Aim to have healthy portion sizes

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